Sunday, January 31, 2010

First Things 1st

Jordan and I spent very little time with each other this weekend. I told myself this year whenever my kid is home, there I will be too. However, Saturday he had a speech and debate tournament, ALL DAY. The first debate tournament I missed in a long time. Last year he was in Dramatic Interpretation also know as DI. He's in the top 60 in nation. This year he is doing a DUO. Basically a DI with two people. His partner is an equally talented kid. They went neck and neck all last year. I think Sam is in top 45 in the nation. Put them together and BAM!! You got 1st place at their 1st tournament on Saturday. Jordan also placed 2nd doing an HI (Humorous Interpretation). I helped him with memorization on Thursday. Yes I said Thursday, two days before the competition. He works well under pressure. Those are his words. While he was out bringing home the trophies. Mama was home doing homework. And today he was giving tours at his school I was at church, target and a movie with my sister.

How do I feel about this? I guess that's the point of this whole blog thing, huh? Well, last year I was at all speech and debate tournaments, maybe because I had to drive him and since there is never really a definite finishing time at those events I found myself lingering like a lost puppy hoping he would let me in to watch him in the finals. The first year and a half he would'nt let me in at all. I remember walking into the room once, hoping he would just over look my presence. He just stood there looking at me and I got up and left. I figured I would give it a try. :). So yesterday I was home. He drove himself. I'm sure we will find the balance of me showing up for support. Like other parents who had driving teens last year.

Oh yeah, how do I feel about this? I'm cool. I think it's all a part of the weening process. There's a first time for everything.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Being in the hospital wasn't ALL bad

(Still not 100% so forgive any ramblings or typos)

I never thought I would be saying this, but being sick and admitted into the ER was all worth it. yesterday I got a stomach virus of sorts and had a delightful evening in the ER hooked up to an IV, poked and prodded. Every test known to man was run on me to make sure all I had was Gastroenteritis, also known as " a stomach virus."

Thanks to my best friend/roommate who was my no cost ambulance ( I was really bad), sister and "kidney twin" who met us there, and my sister for staying there all night with me. I was discharged around noon feeling 20 times better than the night before,with only about 50% of my normal energy level. But I still decide to walk to meet my sister two buildings over. This is when being sick becomes worth it.

I walk slowly, dragging my feet, and with a slight hunch from the discomfort in my abdomen. I don't really look at people because I am totally "busted". My face is dry, I have no idea if I have crust around my mouth and I am sure I have bad breath from "the events" that occurred the night before. (stomach flu events:). As I enter the medical building where she was having a routine appointment. I headed to the elevator. There are a row of chairs just before you enter the elevator. I got a glimpse of a distinguished gentleman from behind. I have no idea what compelled me to back track, considering the state I was in. With no hesitation or thought I acted like I was getting a brochure off the table in front of him. I then stopped dead in my tracks "Oh my gosh", My voice was low to be discrete but mostly because I was still not feeling well enough to shout.

The gentleman looks up and smiles a very distinguished gentlemanly smile. "I never thought in my entire life time I would ever get to meet you." The words just came out. He stands up, like a gentleman and says through is smile, "the pleasure is all mine." I proceed to tell him "you made my day" and he says "well you made my day." The next thing that comes out of my mouth is "How are you." He says "Great, and by the sparkle in your eyes and that smile, I know you are great too." Of course I don't tell him I was just released from the ER and the adrenaline of meeting him is the only thing holding me up at this point. We talk about how my son and roommate will not believe this. A few months back Jordan and I had sat up one Saturday and watch about four of his movies in a row. Jordan now walks around quoting and reenacting scenes from them. He seems surprised my son would know about him and asks" How old is your son?" We continue to talk about Jordan's college choices and his auditions in two weeks. This conversation takes place while he holds my hand and pierces my soul with his eyes. "Okay so I'm going to do something really groupie-ish now" He says "What's that?" "Would you mind taking a picture with me, with my cell phone?" He smiles "Of course." I take the picture, he says "let me see?...Oh we need better light. Lets go outside" at this point a driver approaches and he says "Just a minute we are going to take a picture" I take two more pictures (per his instruction), but cutting off his head both times. Finally he leans down "I'll get to your level." and walla....

Sidney Poitier, a distinguished gentleman

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Moments become memories

Today didn't start like any other Saturday. Generally Saturdays are me sitting at the kitchen table with my books,papers,notepads, and the computer sprawled out all over the place while I cram all of the weeks assignments in to approximately 8 straight hours to turn in my class report(s) on Sunday by 10pm eastern. Hey, I used to do that on Sunday after church. But this week was a big week for me on the school front. With two group projects and one individual project I freaked myself out earlier in the week and did that on Wed and Thu after work instead. By Thursday night I was done, which meant a stress free weekend.

This morning I woke up with little on my plate. Well, I had to go to my storage and take everything out of both storage containers only to pack them all over again, because Salvation Army wouldn't take all of my donations. I told Jordan, this morning, I needed his help. He came willingly. Though, he did "check"me (lovingly of course - I'm still old school) about telling him at the last minute. Note taken. For some strange reason I thought I could move couches and tables and beds all by myself. If it wasn't for Jordan and his manly muscles I would still be at square one. However now I have it down to, the give away container and the keep container. Which this time next week will only be the keep container. Simplifying the finances. I learned some things from Dave Ramsey. Look him up, awesome financial planning stuff.

Before the whole storage thing Jordan decided he was craving Crumbs cupcakes. Jordan's getting ready to go and I'm cozying up in the big green fluffy chair in my room , the start of me getting my relax on. Out of no where I ask him "you want me to ride with you?" and with no hesitation he says, "sure." This is a big deal because I am not eating sugar right now and Crumbs has the best darn cupcakes. Heading north on the 405 towards Beverly Hills Jordan is wearing his shades driving and me? I'm in the passenger seat. surprisingly "getting my relax on" I stare out the window, taking in this moment of hanging with Jordan. This time next year there will be no spontaneous Crumbs cupcake runs. Maybe I will FedEx them to him at college. The billowy clouds look so fake against a crystal clear blue sky. Those are cumulus clouds. I remember that from meteorology class freshman year in college. Huh, this boy/man driving was in my belly when I took that class. We hit traffic which is common for LA, brake lights are everywhere. I say nothing. He's handling it. This ride is very different then rides in the past especially when he first learned how to drive. Every 30 seconds I was telling him where to go, how to look over is shoulder "don't get too close", "put on your blinker", "PUT ON YOUR BRAKES!!"...but not this time. The lack of conversation doesn't bother me, neither one of us feeling like we have to entertain the other. Just taking a ride to get cupcakes. I noticed the differences. His car radio is about 10 notches higher then my radio. The window is down blasting in the crisp cold air. I just let him do his thing and I take in the moment.

If you go to Crumbs Jordan swears by the Raspberry Swirl and Blueberry Cobbler cupcakes.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Here we go!!

A few months ago my friend and her husband moved to Sweden. She started a blog to keep all of her family and friends posted on what is going on with her life. Lets just say I became addicted with her blog. As I continued to read of her adventures it felt like I was in Stockholm myself. Somewhere between stories of "deliscious Glogg" and the "Kaffe Koppen in Gamla Stan" I decided I would start my own blog. I found that in the wake of my son going to college I should not be a stranger to my friends and family. Actually it's all about him right now. College apps, auditions, finals - you name it. So my goal is to document all of our discoveries over these next few months.

My life has turned into this grand adventure. Anticipating the future while enjoying the moment; Filled with every emotion under the sun. Speaking of sun/son. I feel like I am re-birthing, if that's even a word. I brought in the new year knowing I have 9 months. Anyone who has experienced childbirth or any exciting event for that matter, would understand the anticipated excitement associated with birth. You nest and prepare and nurture and indulge in the unknown. Will they have all of their fingers and toes? Will they be healthy? Will you make all the right choices? How will you know what to do?

My son is graduating this year and I have 9 months to pour into him every thought, lesson, life skill, and apology for bad parenting choices I can imagine. Actually its more like 7 months now. In 7 months he will be off to college on the other side of the country, and I will be...well I don't know where I'll be. I will be "here", I guess. In my own skin with every daydream and wonder of the world at my finger tips. That's the beauty of this all. I am excited. As I listened to empty nesters, twice my age, describe their angst of finding their purpose; I am confused because I don't' have any anticipated angst, per Se.

I am full of excitement for my son, for myself. He will branch out and soar out of the nest, and me?...I will do the same. Considering I started motherhood at a young age. This will be my chance to grow up and smell the roses. Although, I wonder when he's off at college with anything he wants at his finger tips, will he keep all those fingers and toes he was born with? Will he stay healthy? Will he make all the best decisions for himself? Will he know what to do? I pray and will continue to pray he does.

This blog will be a way for me to document his final days in the nest with his "mother" and my journey of self-discovery. Also, I am hoping my friends and family find the same closeness with me that I found in reading my friend's blog. Feel free to share this blog with anyone on such a journey, especially single mothers who are going through, will be going through or have already gone through such an adventure.